Rationing

So I have this thing. I have always had it. LJ can even remember being annoyed when we were 10 over it. I horde money. I will literally contemplate buying something for a good 30 minutes (always includes looking in mirror, weighing opportunity cost- damn economics classes). Occasionally I become more impulsive (often with grocery store food i.e. my latest Fluffernutter purchase) but if it's a big item (over $30), it takes me about a week to mentally convince myself I need it (which mostly I don't but oh well). When Brent went to school out in SC, we saved every last dime to get to see each other. I would spend money in Austin but only on experiences (going out to eat, going to something with friends, etc.) These also dont fall in the contemplative category. Someone wants to go to get Noodles after softball, no contest, I'm there. I like people and think their company is worth it (ok well some people). I didn't buy clothes at UT (ex. I only have two burnt orange shirts and one jacket) or much else except for the staples.

So you ask, then how the hell do you have enough clothes to only do laundry once a month? It's fantastic! I love to shop and I believe it's genetic so my mom and sister looked after me and still do. I still get some packages with great sale items they found (which is WONDERFUL because I guess Flatirons Mall does not believe in sales). I am very lucky that they send me goodies and that it didn't stop when I went from Miss to Mrs. Plus, each of them are very good little hunters. I mention something and they can seek it out or find just the perfect item. It's great. BUT this leads me to continuing my hording (because it's not necessary to buy other things since now I have a good collection) and bartering in my head to purchase things.

You would think maybe I'm just contemplative. Better than impulsive but sometimes it makes me nuts. It took me 7 months to spend the money on a haircut (total: $45), two years to buy myself new running shoes (total: $105), and now I have been obsessing about a camera and a sewing machine for about six months (total: much higher than the other two which makes me think I might be writing a post about them in four years). Sometimes I wish I would just go out and buy them and get the wanting out of the way but I have this weird policy where there is allowed one "reward" for myself a month. If we have already spent it, no such luck. Yesterday I bought two dresses at TJ Maxx (also of note, these "rewards" are not Chanel because we are still paying for law school) and today I feel guilty. I got running shoes last month AND a new shirt from old navy AND skiing. That means I'm in the red for three months. I have the WORST spender's remorse. One dress was $15 which was a steal. I think I will wear that one (If I dont eat dinner haha) and take the other one back ($35). Then I start doing this math equation in my head of if I didn't buy the dress, I could have 1/54th of my camera haha.

So I save. Naturally, you all think ok you save then you reap the benefits of your maturity with money and patience. Nope. I feel guilty even after I save it. Thus the hoarding. I figure I should use it for law school or something we actually need (i.e. the $3 cat toy I bought Matt yesterday or skiing... yes there is no rhyme or reason).

I attribute this obsessive compulsive nature and discipline to my father only his is better focused. He can tell himself "no" for any food and cut salt out of his diet just because (I think he has given up several things for lent even though we aren't Catholic... just to do it). I'm impressed and think I would have to buy less clothes (and therefore save more 1/45ths) if I could do this with food. Oh well. Do you do anything silly that you can look at from a 3rd person perspective and know you are slightly (being generous) crazy?